16 & Pregnant: Adrian
by Jubilation Bells
Summary: If Adrian's story were to appear on an episode of MTV's 16 & pregnant, this might be what it would sound like.
1. Introduction

**I do not own anything in this story. The characters and the plot all belong to Brenda Hampton and ABC Family. All credit for the idea goes to Morgan J. Freeman and MTV**

* * *

><p>Hi, I'm Adrian. I'm seventeen and I'm from Valley Glen, California. I live with my mom and dad; and while that may sound normal, my family is anything but. My dad was never around when I was growing up. I actually didn't even meet him until I tracked him down last year. After that, my parents reconnected and even got married a few months ago.<p>

My mom got pregnant with me when she was a teenager. With no help, in order to support me, she had to work full time and was gone pretty often. Desperate for attention, I started seeking the wrong kind of attention from the wrong type of people – mostly guys at school. But I'm over that stage in my life.

That's Ben. We met under very unique circumstances, that's for sure. But he is the only man who has ever truly been there for me. We spend a lot of time together but we don't really know what we are to each other. But our parents are all hoping we figure that out soon since things are about to get a lot more complicated for us because….

…I'm pregnant.


	2. 20 Weeks Pregnant

**AN:** So I decided to continue! The plot is directly from the show, however the dialogue and time frame are all modified to match that of the MTV script. Please review and let me know how I'm doing!

* * *

><p><strong>20 Weeks Pregnant<strong>

**7:30 am**

It's my first day of my senior year and I'm a little nervous. Everyone knows that Ben and I got off to a rocky start. We were friends for a long time until I turned to him for revenge one night when I found out by ex boyfriend cheated on me. It was only supposed to be a one time thing, but sometimes things don't go according to plan. We've gotten really close this summer and have gotten relatively comfortable with our situation, but I don't know how everyone at school is going to react. Everyone knew I was pregnant when we left school last year, but now that I'm showing it's a lot more obvious.

Before I leave for school, I'm packing snacks for myself. My doctor suggested that I eat every two hours and since I had a little scare at the beginning of my pregnancy, I try to follow everything he tells me. My mom came into the kitchen as I was packing. Since she was pregnant in high school herself, she is pretty disappointed that I am too.

_Cindy: So, are you excited for your first day?_

_Adrian: I don't know, I'm a little nervous._

_Cindy: About what?_

_Adrian: It's just because it's the first time everyone is going to see me._

_Cindy: I know, it's not an easy thing; but you'll be fine. You've never been one to care about what people think, remember._

_Adrian: I know, it's just different this time._

_Cindy: It'll be ok, I promise. But you should get going, you don't want to be late_

_Adrian: Ok, bye Mom._

* * *

><p><strong>3:30 pm<strong>

School went better than I expected. My friends were all really supportive and even though there were some stares, I didn't let any of them get to me. My mom was right, I don't care what people think. It also made it easier because Ben was by my side the whole time. I appreciate him so much for standing by me through all of this. Today is the day we get to find out the sex of the baby. Ben and I are both really excited. While he is at work, I'm going to my best friend Grace's house. She was away all summer so we haven't seen each other in a while.

_Grace: So how was it being back at school?_

_Adrian: It wasn't as bad as I thought._

_Grace: See, I told you._

_Adrian: I know, I know._

_Grace: I still can't believe you're pregnant. Like, did you use birth control at all?_

_Adrian: Yes! Two forms!_

_Grace: And you still got pregnant?_

_Adrian: It's crazy I know, I couldn't believe it myself. But I had just changed by birth control prescription so it the new one hadn't kicked in yet but the old one had already worn out and on top of that the condom broke._

_Grace: So you really are like the classic cautionary tale._

_Adrian: I know, right?_

_Grace: How did you find out you were pregnant anyway?_

_Adrian: Well I noticed I was late but I kind of figured that it was because I had just switched pills so I didn't think much of it, but then my neighbor was asking me how to get birth control and how it works and when I was explaining it to her it all kind of occurred to me so I took a test and showed it to Ben right away._

_Grace: I'm just really glad that you decided not to get an abortion._

_Adrian: I know me too_

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was seriously considering abortion. My mom and Ben were supportive of whatever decision I made, but Grace and my dad were very much against it. I thought I was set on my decision until it actually came down to it. Once I was at the clinic, I couldn't go through with it. Now, I couldn't be happier with my decision not to.

It's finally time for our appointment. Ben picked me up from Grace's house and we headed over to the doctor. Ben was nervous about going in the room with me during the ultrasound. He has gone with me to every one of my doctors appointments so far, but he's never gone in the room. This time, I wanted him in there so we can find out together. We found out we're having a girl and I can't wait to go home and tell my parents.

* * *

><p>Ben dropped me off at home after we told my parents together. My dad is a lot more supportive than my mom, but I'm hoping she warms up to it soon. About an hour later, Ben's stepmom called me to tell me how excited she is that we're having a girl. After that my dad came in to talk to me. He has been wanting Ben and me to get married since we found out I was pregnant. It was pretty crazy since Ben and I weren't even together at the time. I've gotten used to him bugging me about it but I haven't quite gotten used to the idea yet.<p>

_Ruben: So, a little girl. That's certainly very exciting_

_Adrian: Yeah it is, I'm really excited about it._

_Ruben: So with all of this excitement does this make you think any more about what we talked about?_

_Adrian: I told you, Dad, I'm not ready to get married._

_Ruben: You should at least think about it._

_Adrian: I've been thinking about it. For months now I've been thinking about it._

_phone rings_

_Adrian: It's Ben_

_Ruben: I'll let you talk to him._

_Adrian: Hey Ben_

_Ben: Hey Adrian, how are you feeling_

_Adrian: I'm feeling fine, just getting ready to go to bed._

_Ben: I was just thinking, what would you think about us living together to raise the baby? _

_Adrian: What?_

_Ben: You could move in with us, we could set up the extra room for a nursery and raise our daughter together_

_Adrian: Ben, that's a really sweet offer but I don't think I'm ready to move in with you. It would be different if we were married but we don't even know what we are right now._

_Ben: But we could-_

_Adrian: I'm not ready to get married Ben_

_Ben: Ok, well how about you just think about it._

_Adrian: Fine, I'll think about it, goodnight_

I admit, living with Ben would make raising the baby easier, especially because Ben's family has a lot of money. But I dont want to just live with him as friends. I would want something more than that, but I don't know what yet. I don't really think it's appropriate for people to live together when they're not married, but I don't know if I'm ready to get married yet.


	3. 23 through 28 Weeks Pregnant

**23 Weeks Pregnant**

Even though Ben and I don't have an official title for our relationship, we've been spending a lot of time together and he wants me to move in with him. I won't do that unless we're married, but the more time we spend together, the more I think about it. Since I've been spending so much time with Ben lately, today, I'm going to Grace's house to catch up with her.

_Grace: So what's been going on with you and Ben, are you in love with him?_

_Adrian: I love him; I don't know if I'm in love with him, but I love him._

_Grace: With the difference being?_

_Adrian: What I feel for Ben is a mature love. I know I love him and I know he loves me. He's the kind of guy that I've always wanted. He's there. I mean my dad was never there and my mom was barely there, but Ben is there._

_Grace: Is being there enough?_

_Adrian: Being there is everything._

_Grace: I don't like the thought of you marrying somebody just because they're going to be there but have no strong physical attraction to. Maybe being there is everything a child needs, but I don't know if it's everything a woman needs._

_Adrian: It's different when you're pregnant. The whole world is different. I can't just think about myself I have to think about the baby. And when I think about the baby, I know she loves Ben because Ben is her daddy and he's good to us. It makes me love him._

_Grace: well don't get married to Ben just because you're pregnant and you like all of the nice things he does for you and the baby. You have to really love him to marry him; if you don't it's just not fair._

Grace doesn't really understand what I'm going through. Not just with this, but with everything. She grew up with both of her parents married and they were there for her all the time. I never had that. So now that I have someone who makes me their first priority, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Ben is taking me to dinner tonight and it sounds like he has something special planned. My parents can tell I'm excited, so this of course starts another conversation about marriage with my dad, but my mom isn't too happy about it. I really hope that my dad doesn't try to push Ben into marrying me. If he does, I would never know how Ben really feels about me. My mom doesn't want us to get married right now because she wants me to still accomplish everything I wanted to.

_Cindy: You know Adrian, you don't have to be with Ben just because you're having a baby together._

_Adrian: I know that, but I love Ben._

_Cindy: You love him or you love him because you think you have to?_

_Adrian: I really love him._

_Cindy: But what about what you want? Like what about your goals? You wanted to be a lawyer, what happened with that?_

_Adrian: I can still do that._

_Cindy: How? How would you have time or money for college?_

_Adrian: Ben's dad said that his company would give me a scholarship and that he would set up a trust fund for the baby._

My mom isn't exactly for mine and Ben's relationship but she is trying hard to be supportive. When she got pregnant, my dad offered to marry her but she didn't want just an offer so they ended up breaking up and she didn't want anything to do with him. He paid child support but that was it and my mom was completely independent. She's worried that if I become too dependent on Ben, it's going to blow up in my face, but I know that will never happen.

Ben sent his chauffer to pick me up for our date. I don't know what he has planned but it seems really romantic. I got out of the car and Ben was there waiting for me. As soon as he greeted me he got down on one knee.

_Ben: I love you Adrian._

_Adrian: You do love me, don't you?_

_Ben: I do love you, and I would be honored if you would be my wife._

_Adrian: Yes!_

_Ben: You don't want to think it over?_

_Adrian: No._

I'm so excited Ben and I are engaged. I can't wait to tell everyone!

* * *

><p><strong>26 Weeks Pregnant<strong>

Our parents offered to pay for our wedding. I had originally planned on having a big wedding with everyone from school, but after a lot of debate, our parents changed their minds and decided they would rather put the money they would have spent on a wedding towards a condo for us to raise the baby in. I think that's a great idea, especially since not everyone on our original invite list was all that thrilled about us getting married in the first place. We've been looking at condos for the past few weeks now and Ben doesn't seem to like any of them. I hope he can make up his mind soon.

We found a condo that I really like, it even has some furniture already in it so that's one less thing we need to buy. It's so nice on the inside, it's in a great neighborhood, and it's affordable. It has everything on my checklist down to the color of the appliances, but Ben still seems to have issues with it.

_Adrian: Ben is there some issue why you don't want to leave home? Are you afraid you and I can't handle raising a baby on our own? Because we're still going to have plenty of help and I'm sure we'll be fine._

_Ben: I just don't think that this is the place._

_Adrian: Are you going to think any place is the right place?_

Ben and I worked through his issues with the condos. He was afraid of leaving home and I guess he has been ever since his mom died a few years ago. Not that I can blame him, but I know that we can work together to create our own memories with each other and our daughter.

* * *

><p><strong>28 Weeks Pregnant<br>**

Ben's dad bought the condo for us. We're really excited about it and we've already started buying stuff for the nursery. Even though I'm only a teenager, I love shopping for baby stuff. We decided not to move in with each other until after the wedding. Even when we're engaged I still think it's inappropriate to live together before we're married. My mom's job still calls for her to be gone most of the time, so this morning she told me her plans for the next few months. Our wedding is only a few weeks away which is cutting it close to my due date, but it's not like we can push it back any further.

_Cindy: I'm going to be away for most of the next four weeks, but then I'll be off for almost another four weeks so I'll be here to help with the move, and the wedding, and the baby coming._

_Adrian: Thanks, Mom, but I think everything's under control._

_Cindy: Do you? What are you going to be getting married in? What are you going to be wearing? What about a photographer? Did you order the flowers?_

_Adrian: I've still got a few weeks and it's just a tiny little wedding._

_Cindy: But it's your wedding and you're going to want all of this stuff. Have you and Ben talked seriously about finances? Like are you going to open up a joint checking account or keep your money separate? Is there a prenup?_

My mom brings up a lot of good points. I guess I didn't really think of the reality of how much there is in planning a wedding, even a small wedding like ours. It stressed me out a little bit to hear this stuff. Ben and I know we want to get married before the baby comes, but I guess we better get our acts together soon. I sure hope we know what we're doing.

As if I wasn't stressed out enough, I ran into my friend Amy on my way to school. She had a baby her freshman year of high school and she made me realize that I might not be ready to have a baby either.

_Amy: So are you excited for the wedding?_

_Adrian: Yeah I can't wait, but there's still a lot I need to do first._

_Amy: And what about the baby?_

_Adrian: We're getting the nursery set up and buying a lot of things_

_Amy: Yeah, newborns are a lot of work. You're going to be really tired for a long time. And with everything you have going on with the wedding, and moving in, and having a baby, I don't know how you're going to do it. Your hormones go crazy. Oh, and breast feeding, you are going to breast feed right? It's so wonderful and weird at the same time. And only a little painful starting out, of course not as painful as childbirth, but it doesn't take long to forget that._

Talking to Amy only freaked me out more. Part of me thinks she was just trying to scare me, the other part of me knows that she is right. I don't have much time left and it stresses me out knowing that I have to get all of the stuff for my wedding and learn about the ins and outs of motherhood.

When I told Grace my insecurities at school, she didn't help at all. If anything she made things worse by agreeing with my parents and Amy. I hope I can get all of my confidence back soon because obviously I'm running out of time

Tonight Ben and I are going to the condo to set it up some more. I figured setting up the baby's room would help us open up to each other. I'm hoping we can help each other out.

_Adrian: So are you worried about getting married so soon?_

_Ben: No, I'm not worried. Why? Are you?_

_Adrian: I'm not worried, I just didn't realize how much there still is left to do._

_Ben: We should get it all done in time. Don't stress out about it._

_Adrian: It's hard not to, I mean we're still so young and we're having a baby so soon._

_Ben: We're going to be great parents. Our parents are going to help us. We can get a nanny to watch her while we're at school._

_Adrian: Neither of us knows anything about babies._

_Ben: Whether we know anything about them or not parenting is just like anything else, we'll learn as we go._

I knew I could count on Ben to make me feel better, I just hope he's right.


	4. 31 through 35 Weeks Pregnant

**31 Weeks Pregnant**

My wedding is only a few weeks away. My dad told me that he would buy me a wedding dress, probably because he's so excited we are getting married before the baby comes. So today, Grace and I are going shopping for dresses, and I think I found one that I really like.

_Adrian: I think this is the one_

_Grace: It looks really good on you. I still can't believe you're getting married._

_Adrian: I know, and in only a few weeks too._

_Grace: It's so crazy. So how are things going with Ben?_

_Adrian: Really well, actually. He has been amazing through all of this. _

_Grace: That's good._

_Adrian: Yeah, he really calmed my nerves a lot and we've almost got the nursery set up._

_Grace: What are you going to do about school?_

_Adrian: I'm still going to go to school. I should be able to finish this year and then start college in the fall. Ben's dad said his company would give me a scholarship for college._

_Grace: You're really lucky. _

_Adrian: I know, I just really don't want to have to go to summer school or get behind at all so I'm going to work really hard to get everything done beforehand._

_Grace: Well good for you. I think Amy and I are going to throw you a shower before the wedding._

_Adrian: Aw that's so sweet! Thank you._

_Sales Woman: So what do you think?_

_Adrian: I think this is the one!_

I'm really excited that I finally got a wedding dress. Now my friends are going to throw me a baby shower too. I don't know how I got so lucky

* * *

><p><strong><span>33 Weeks Pregnant<span>  
><strong>

Today is my baby shower and I'm really excited that it all finally worked out. There was a lot of drama among the girls surrounding it, but Grace and Amy got it all straightened out.

_Grace: So how is the condo coming._

_Adrian: It's coming along. We got the nursery set up and all of the furniture and everything._

_Alice: That's good. Are you ready for the wedding?_

_Adrian: Yeah, I'm ready!_

_Grace: I ljust ove your dress_

_Adrian: Me too._

_Lauren: So have you decided what you're going to name her yet?_

_Adrian: No, not yet. I think I need to like actually see her before I can give her a name._

_Amy: That's how I was too. I thought that a name would come to me when I saw his face, but it didn't right away._

_Adrian: It's hard because her name is obviously going to stick with her forever._

_Grace: I'm sure whatever name you choose will be perfect._

_Madison: So are you scared to actually have the baby._

_Adrian: Yeah but I already talked to my doctor about it, I'm definitely getting an epidural._

_Amy: I was going to say, it definitely makes it easier._

My shower was a lot of fun and I'm glad I got a lot of great gifts for the baby. But now it's back to business. I still have a lot to do before the wedding and I have to make sure I'm all caught up with school since I don't want to fall behind.

* * *

><p><strong>35 Weeks Pregnant<strong>

I'm getting married this weekend. My due date is approaching fast, so I'm really glad Ben and I were able to get everything settled beforehand. It's really important to both of us that our daughter know that her parents are married from the beginning. So today, my school guidance councilor needs to talk to me about what my plans are for the rest of the year.

_Ms. O'Malley: So you're getting married this weekend and you're having a baby in a few weeks, what are your plans for finishing up the rest of the school year?_

_Adrian: I think I'll just need like a week off so I should be able to catch up a few days after I'm back._

__Ms. O'Malley_: You're probably going to have to stay out a little longer than that don't you think?_

_Adrian: Not if I want to graduate, no. I can't stay out more than that._

__Ms. O'Malley_: You're kidding right? You can't possibly have a baby and then come back to school the next week._

_Adrian: Yeah, I can. We're going to get a nanny for Monday through Friday from 7:30 to 3:30. It'll be fine, we're going to start interviewing nannies next week._

__Ms. O'Malley_: Have you discussed this with your mother, or anyone else who has ever had a baby? Coming back to school the week after you've had a baby?_

_Adrian: My mom's been traveling so she can help when the baby gets here._

__Ms. O'Malley_: It seems like you have put a lot of effort into getting ready for the baby, but it seems like you're unaware that babies require a lot of help the first few months._

_Adrian: No, I know, that's why we're getting a nanny and my mom is taking off from work._

__Ms. O'Malley_: But babies don't sleep 8 hours at night. Some nights you are going to be up all night feeding and changing diapers. I think you're going to have to stay home at least a month or maybe even 6 weeks._

_Adrian: No, I can't do that. I'm doing this my way._

__Ms. O'Malley_: Look at how uncomfortable you are right now. You should probably even be home now._

_Adrian: I'm not leaving school until I go into labor._

__Ms. O'Malley_: I am going to make sure you graduate, but maybe that should be at the end of summer school._

_Adrian: No, I'm not going to summer school. I can still have a baby without disrupting my education._

__Ms. O'Malley_: Alright we'll see, well with your due date fast approaching if you are not comfortable coming into school just come and talk to me. I'll just need to talk to Ben too._

I have put a lot of effort into getting ready for this baby, but I guess I never really considered just how much work babies are. I'm still determined to finish off my senior year on time, but what the councilor said really started to make me nervous.

On top of that, Ben just told me that his stepmom won't be able to come because her mother is very sick. I really want her to be there, but we can't wait any long if we want to get married before the baby gets here. Everything kind of all hit me at once and that morning I got a little nervous. I wanted to talk to someone about my nerves so I met up with my friend, Tom, to get it off my chest.

_Tom: So what's wrong?_

_Adrian: I don't know it's just I keep thinking that maybe we shouldn't be getting married._

_Tom: Maybe you shouldn't_

_Adrian: We don't have to. Just because we're having a baby doesn't mean we have to get married, even if it is what my dad wants. And now that Ben's stepmom can't be there it's a good excuse to get out of it._

_Tom: Adrian, you're a great girl and I think you should go ahead with the wedding. Ben's a nice guy, you guys will be fine._

_Adrian: You think so?_

_Tom: Definitely_

_Adrian: Thank you Tom. I guess I just needed to say it out loud that I do have some fears. But now that I've said it I feel ok._

Talking to Tom helped a lot. I guess every bride to be has some pre wedding jitters and I was afraid of expressing my fears out loud. But now that I have I feel great and I'm so ready to get married to Ben.

* * *

><p><strong>2 days later<strong>

I'm getting married today and I am so excited. I decided to take the day off from school to get ready since I have a lot to do. The ceremony is just going to be at my house. We didn't invite any friends or anything, just our parents. Our friend Jack's dad is a minister, so we asked him to marry us.. My dad is not thrilled about it because he wants it to be a Catholic priest, but we would rather have someone we know do it. It might not have been the wedding that I always dreamed of, but I know I couldn't have asked for anything more.


	5. 36 Weeks Pregnant

**36 Weeks Pregnant**

Ben and I moved into our Condo on Friday which was great because we got to spend our first night as a married couple there together. I'm really happy we're married, but I've been getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute and I haven't been able to sleep much at all. Ben is being really supportive, but he can only do so much. I'm so ready to have this baby already. I have a doctors appointment today so I hope he tells me something to get me through these last few weeks.

_Dr. Ottavi: Everything looks normal and it looks like it should be about 4 more weeks._

_Adrian: I wish she would just come out already._

_Ben: Is there anything we can do to help make her more comfortable._

_Dr. Ottavi: At this point you will be experiencing a great deal of discomfort but really all you can do is wait. It shouldn't be too much longer, though._

_Adrian: But she's ok? Like everything looks fine?_

_Dr. Ottavi: Everything looks good. I will actually be out of town for the next week starting tomorrow, so if you need anything at all another doctor in the practice will assist you. As you know I am in practice with my mother so if anything comes up when I am not here, I would recommend you see her.__ If nothing else, I will see you guys back here at the end of next week._

It was really great hearing from the Doctor that the baby is doing well, but I wish there was something I could do to make me more comfortable. After the doctor, Ben and I went on yet another shopping trip to buy more baby stuff. I'm really tired now so hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

**4:30 am**

I keep waking up in the middle of the night and I feel like I can't get comfortable no matter how hard I try. Tonight, I started feeling this weird crampy feeling in my stomach. It always feels a little strange when the baby moves, but I'm used to feeling her move all the time, but this felt completely different from that. It didn't even feel like she was moving at all. It's not painful enough to be contractions but it definitely doesn't feel normal.

_Ben: Are you awake?_

_Adrian: Yeah, I can't sleep._

_Ben: Is something wrong?_

_Adrian: I don't know but something just doesn't feel right._

_Ben: We were just at the doctor's office 12 hours ago and everything was fine._

_Adrian: I know_

_Ben: Do you want me to call Dr. Ottavi?_

_Adrian: He went out of town for the week, remember?_

_Ben: We could still call his office, someone will be there._

_Adrian: It's fine, I'm sure I'm ok_

_Ben: You don't think you're going into labor or anything do you?_

_Adrian: I don't know, something just doesn't feel right. But it's probably nothing, just go back to sleep._

_Ben: We'll call the doctor first thing in the morning ok? _

I don't know what this feeling is, but I'm nervous because I know it isn't normal. I didn't get any sleep at all. At 7:00 am when Ben got up we called my doctor's office and spoke with his mother. I described the feeling to her and she suggested that I meet her at the hospital right away. I know it's a little early, but I think maybe this could be it. I packed a bag and Ben drove us to the hospital.

_Dr. Ottavi: Hey Adrian, how are you feeling?_

_Adrian: I'm feeling good. _

_Dr. Ottavi: Has anything new happened in the past hour? Did you feel the baby move at all?_

_Adrian: No, but maybe she's just getting herself into position._

When I told the doctor that I hadn't felt the baby move at all, she was very concerned. She took me into an examining room right away and the nurse started listening for a heartbeat, but she couldn't find one. They set me up with another ultrasound immediately. It showed the same thing, there was no movement and no heartbeat.

_Dr. Ottavi: Adrian I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but the baby didn't make it. _

_Adrian: What do you mean she didn't make it? She was fine yesterday!_

_Dr. Ottavi: I know this was very sudden, but some time in the past day, she passed away. Now unfortunately, you will still have to deliver her normally which I know is going to be difficult. I'm going to start you up on a dose of Petocin to speed up the labor. _

When the doctor left the room I just cried. The worst part was that the nurses were so insensitive and kept telling me that I still needed to focus on the labor. I don't know how I'm going to do that. I'm in extreme amounts of both physical and emotional pain. 2 hours later they finally let me get an epidural which didn't help as much as I thought it would. The physical pain wasn't the worst part of this. I guess medically speaking my labor wasn't that long even though it felt like an eternity. After 7 and a half hours of labor, she was out. I was exhausted, so when the doctors took her to clean her up I fell asleep hoping to wake up and this would all just be a horrible nightmare.

_Dr. Ottavi: Would you like to hold her?_

_Adrian: I don't know if I can._

_Dr. Ottavi: That is up to you, however I do encourage parents of this situation to do so; it helps with the grieving._

_Ben: I'd like to hold her._

_Adrian: How did this happen? I was so careful. I did everything right!_

_Dr. Ottavi: To be perfectly honest with you, Adrian, we don't know. You are absolutely right, you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes these things just happen. About 30% of the time we never know. I know this is not the answer you would like to here_

_Ben: Do you want to hold her?_

_Adrian: yeah_

Holding her was horrible. No one ever pictures the first time they hold their child to be like this. The doctors then came and took her away and were encouraging us to have a traditional burial service for her. I can't even think about that right now. It wasn't long after that my mom and dad and Ben's dad got there. Ben had told them what happened which I'm thankful for because I don't think I could have. My parents were trying to be helpful but nothing anyone could say will help me right now.

_Ben: Adrian, our friends from school just got here, do you want me to send them away?_

_Adrian: How did they even know we were here?_

_Ben: I don't know but do you want me to get rid of them._

_Adrian: Yes. Wait, no. I want to talk to Amy._

_Ben: Ok, I'll get her._

Amy and I haven't always been the best of friends, but she is a mother too, so she is the only one who would really be able to relate to me right now. Not that she even knows what this feels like, but she would understand better than all of my other childless friends. But when she came into my room all she could say was how sorry she was as I continued to cry. When everyone left Ben stayed with me all night.

_Ben: You know we still need to come up with a name for her._

_Adrian: I didn't even think about that._

_Ben: I know, but she will always be a part of us, so we need to name her something that shows that._

Naming her was easier than we thought. We decided on Mercy.

* * *

><p><strong>5 Days Later<strong>

_Minister: We are here to remember Mercy Boykewich, beloved daughter and granddaughter. While we were never blessed with the opportunity to meet Mercy personally, we know she will live in our hearts forever._


	6. Epilogue

Getting pregnant was definitely not something I had in mind for myself at such a young age. Even though we weren't ready for a baby, we made sure to get there and be the best parents that we could be. I never had a stable household with 2 parents when I was growing up and I wanted my little girl to have that. I was looking forward to finally starting my own life with my husband and daughter, but for some reason that I'll never know, Mercy was not meant to be here.

One of the hardest things is the world is carrying a child for so long, feeling her moving and getting to know her, forming a connecting, and then suddenly she's gone without any warning. For the rest of my life, I will always be wondering what she would look like, or what she would be doing or wearing. There will never be a day when I don't think about her.

Losing a child, even one that you never really knew, is the hardest thing in the world and no one can ever prepare for how hard it is. I'm so depressed without her I don't know how I'm ever going to go back to how I was before, but I know I have to. I'm going to finish off this school year and graduate. I'm going to go to college in the fall and become a lawyer some day. No matter what I do I want to make my little girl proud of me.

I am so grateful for all of the help I received from everyone through all of this. Ben has been more than amazing and his support has meant the world to me. I couldn't ask for a better husband and I have no idea how I would have been able to go through any of this without him. I hope we can stay together forever. One day, when we're older and more stable, I know that God is going to give Mercy back to us; until then, at least we still have each other.


End file.
